Even after 5 years of recurrences, Kelly and Dave say they gained strength through their positivity, and a child through ours.
Kelly and Dave tried to get pregnant on their own since the beginning of their marriage. After devastating miscarriages, the couple thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel for them.
Kelly’s doctor soon referred them to University of Colorado Advanced Reproductive Medicine (CU ARM) in Colorado Springs. There they met Dr. Shona Murray and began to hope once again to expand their family.
Dr. Murray suggested the couple undergo intrauterine insemination (IUI). This is typically the first line of infertility treatment because it is a simple, painless procedure with a 5 to 20 percent chance of pregnancy per cycle. Dave and Kelly agreed and began the IUI process.
They had a successful IUI cycle, and Kelly became pregnant. They were overjoyed, but soon that joy disappeared. Once again, the couple suffered a miscarriage.
“You get invested and excited because you’re pregnant and starting the next chapter of your family,” says Dave. “And then, in a flash, it disappears.”
They were heartbroken, and both still struggle to talk about it.
Sadly, Kelly and Dave’s experience is not uncommon. Miscarriage occurs in up to 30 percent of all pregnancies. Even during this dark time, they found comfort at CU Advanced Reproductive Medicine, specifically with Dr. Murray.
“She was just very warm. Even during the hardest time, I think she really took the time,” recalls Dave. “I mean it felt like family to us. You could tell they cared.”
Finding humor and success in IVF
After five years of recurrent miscarriages and several unsuccessful IUIs, they knew it was time to try something different. The couple focused on staying positive and began in vitro fertilization (IVF). IVF has a higher rate of success but, because it is a more complex treatment option, the cost is higher as well.
“That’s a nervous position to be in because that’s a lot of money to put down and it’s not a guarantee,” remarks Dave. “But it was something we just had to try.”
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Kelly and Dave went to the CU Anschutz Medical Campus for the IVF procedure. There they were met with the same positivity and warmth they felt in Colorado Springs.
“There was a perfect amount of being funny yet so professional,” says Kelly. “That made us feel so comfortable.”
IVF resulted in six viable embryos for the couple. They elected to use the single best embryo–without wanting to know the gender–and moved forward with implantation. This time, after so much disappointment, they found success. Kelly was pregnant. Dave believes this is a result of the positivity of the staff.
“It was a very positive situation to be in,” he recalls. “I think that has a lot to do with why we have a little baby here. We did everything the staff suggested as they are the experts and we trusted we were in good hands. They suggested doing acupuncture before and after the IVF procedure, so we did it,” says Dave, adding that Kelly recalls the acupuncture making her feel very relaxed and positive.
The envelope please, and the sex is …
Kelly and Dave did not know the sex of their baby before birth, but their team of nurses and doctors did. The couple asked their nurse, Jodi, to write the baby’s sex on a note and place it in an envelope, so they could find out when the time was right. This simple request turned into a gesture of kindness and love the couple did not expect.
Jodi put together a sex reveal envelope for them that was layered in blue and pink paper and kept the couple guessing the whole time, until Dave and Kelly were ready to know.
“It was so cute! She put it in envelope after envelope. There were hints. And then there were more envelopes. It was just layer after layer of little things,” recalls Kelly.
“She could have easily written ‘girl,’ put it in a generic envelope and given it to us. But she actually put time and effort into it,” says Dave. “It made the moment even more special, and for a nurse to do that, I mean that shows how much they care.”
The couple loved the moment so much they recreated the same envelopes to share with their family.
Their family, our family
As Dave and Kelly progressed in their pregnancy, they visited UCARM less often. But that did not mean their relationship with the practice ended.
“The staffers were so wonderful. They touched base throughout the pregnancy to make sure we were doing well,” says Kelly.
The couple welcomed Emmy, a healthy baby girl, into their lives and hearts a few months ago.
“Our hearts were ready for a miracle and we got one for sure. We pinch ourselves all the time, what a blessing Emmy is to us,” says Dave. “She is loved!”
The new mom and dad also appreciate the family that helped make theirs happen. “We are so grateful to everyone at the CU reproductive center at all the offices for what you do,” says Dave. “You made us feel like family.”
Dave and Kelly plan on bringing Emmy to meet the CU ARM team soon.
Dave & Kelly are sharing their experience with everyone in hopes of encouraging others not to give up. They keep saying that no matter how hard the struggles are, to always keep looking at the future. Staying positive with positive people around you keeps you moving in the right direction. “We wish everyone amazing experiences with CU.”